Minimizing dependence is central to effectively tackling difficult situations. If we look for, employ and rely on the fewest possible things, we start to learn that we can not only get by but thrive with little. This reduces the chances that our wishes and expectations will be thwarted and frustration or disappointment are lessened.
Difficult situations are defined by the possibility that our needs and desires will not be met. Thus, when our needs are few, difficult situations are fewer. We can either handle a tough situation or we can prevent it. Prevention is far better. Therefore, dependence emerges are an extremely important factor in tackling difficult situations and even more so in stopping them from occurring.
Untoward happenings are bound to arise and if we keep practicing to rely on little, they are simpler to negotiate. When dependence is low, we are free. And with this space comes maneuverability, flexibility and tolerance. When these qualities begin to develop, complications are easier to handle and the course of events is much smoother.
Circumstances are often beyond our control, and perhaps even the act of controlling or the wish to control is a dependency. There are several mental health paradigms that describe control as the problem. With control, we seek to mould and conjure. When we want things to be a certain way, we reduce flexibility and adaptability. This is a form of dependence that takes what is outside our influence as being modifiable according to our preferences.
This page is aimed at discussing the notion of dependence, and how dependence interacts with wellbeing. In it, we hope to present information and approaches that will aid in understanding and working with dependence. In our approach to self care and finding direction, dependence is a central consideration and we will continue to add content that will elaborate on this topic.
When we rely on something, we change. We get accustomed to things being a certain way and our preferences become central. We start to define everything according to how and who we think we are. We start taking things for granted. Shifting perspective is helpful when we are too enmeshed in me and mine. If we can begin to attend to the possibility that things can be entirely different, room for the allowance of change is created. This could actually be a practice to adopt, and doesn’t need to be forced upon us by say difficult circumstances.
The appreciation of a novel, different point of view or way of being reminds us to look past just ourselves. The more we pare our dependencies, the more empowering this appreciation becomes. We manipulate and design with essentially our needs in mind. If we can come to a way of being without calculation, there is the possibility that our needs might actually become fewer.
Dependence might be very subtle. The weight of habit energy applies as much to elements of our routine as to preferring a certain way to feel. Feelings could be viewed as a facet of mental emphasis, and they are intertwined with thoughts, memories and attitudes. In desiring particular feelings, we change how we are and how we will be. With such a thing happening, we alter how we interface with circumstances and environments, and as a result our mind, and body are weighted and scaled in a specific way. Over time, we could take on a completely different direction, based solely on how we prefer to feel. Such are the ramifications of dependence. With just choosing a certain way to feel, we select what we want and how we want it.
Dependence is likely a factor of our need for certainty. Everything from the dependence on tobacco to what we want to taste, and much more is part of our reliance on certainty. Such a way to be conflicts with the truth of uncertainty, and is bound to cause difficulty sooner or later. We use our bodies to experience certainty, and that’s just the beginning. There is a lot of sense in not censoring how we are feeling. Without such scrutiny, we might learn to abide peacefully when difficult feelings arise. This minimizes struggle, and lessens dependence on something that while being intangible can have far reaching consequences.